A Memo to Men and a Thank You to Mine – A note on “babe, are you ready yet?”
Gentlemen, the next time you find yourself complaining about how long your—otherwise perfect—girlfriend takes to get herself ready, remember this: She’s doing it for BOTH of you.
1. More likely than not, most put-together young women know what it takes to feel confident in their skin. And if taking 15 extra minutes after she said she’d be ready is the difference between her feeling comfortable with herself vs. feeling shitty and insecure, then it’s time worth spending. Otherwise, prepare to deal with a multitude of rants about the way she looks, as well as the bad mood she’ll likely be in for not finishing her regimen.
SOLUTION: if you know this is how it always is, simply let her know earlier that she should start getting ready, while also allowing buffer time prior to actual departure time. Expect it, because let’s be real, it’s no surprise, so find yourself something else to do while she gets herself ready so that you don’t get yourself worked up.
2. Taking the time to get ready, regardless of occasion, is an indication of self-respect. “Get ready” could also mean a multitude of things. It’s different for everyone but basically it’s whatever it is she has to do to feel presentable for whatever it is she’ll be doing. Sometimes I need the extra few minutes to tidy myself up even if we’re just going to the grocery store because I don’t want to be mistaken for a homeless woman. Women also do this so that you, gentlemen, won’t be tempted to ditch us for the beer aisle because we’re too-hot-of-a-mess to want to be seen in public with.
SOLUTION: see it for what it is. We care about ourselves and we want to be seen as women with you and not be mistaken for doppelgangers of People of Walmart.
3. This is basically another way to say the first point (incase it wasn’t clear enough): for a lot of women, we’ve got to LOOK GOOD to FEEL GOOD. I want to feel confident that if we bump into people you know that you’re going to want to proudly introduce us to them as your girlfriend. And I want to be able to smile knowing your friend thinks highly of you for having a respectable and put-together better half. So, men, if it’s to make you look good too, don’t fight it.
SOLUTION: just remember that its for everyone’s best interest and tell us that we have to leave 15 min earlier, so that we end up actually leaving on time.
To my supportive and ever-patient boyfriend, thank you for never making me feel bad for taking my time to get ready. Thank you for figuring it out on your own that you just have to get me moving sooner to get us going on time, and for never getting worked up if I have made us late. The day I give up on the way I present myself is the day I stop caring about what you think of me. The day that I stop caring about what you think of me or how you see me, is the day I stop caring about us altogether.
LADIES: be unapologetic of wanting to look and feel a certain way but also be self-aware and don’t dilly-dally, have a sense of urgency, because you are also running on someone else’s time. Be reasonable.